By: Cathi Adams
Do you cringe when you hear the word divorce? “Divorce” conjures up thoughts of sorrow and unhappiness. When you say you are divorced the response is, “Oh, I’m sorry”.
You hear condolences for the “death” of your marriage. Next question is, “Are you dating?” Then if you say no they always ask, “Why not?”. Many people think you can’t possibly be happy if you are alone. Loneliness is a choice. I am often alone but I am rarely lonely.
Many of my clients say that they felt much lonelier when they were in a bad marriage then when they divorced. You can choose to make lemonade out of lemons. Overcome your post-divorce loneliness and handle insensitive comments.
Follow these simple tips:
1. Don't tell people you are divorced (with a sorrowful look in your eyes). Smile confidently and say, " I am Happily Divorced!"
2. Feel strong, independent and happy! Soon your brain will catch on and you will feel it and believe it.
3. Remember all the things you used to love to do?Start doing them again! Pull out that old needlepoint. Start painting again. Take up photography. Volunteer for a cause you are passionate about. Read that murder mystery you have been saving.
4. Begin a hobby you have always wanted to do.
5. Pamper yourself. Take hours getting ready to go out (Enjoy the fact that there is no one there telling you to hurry up and finish)
6. Make an appointment at 4:00 in the afternoon consider yourself lucky you don’t have to “rush” home to make dinner. Be happy your time is your own now to do as you wish!
7. Spend REAL time with your children. Sit on the floor with them. Play a board game. Listen to their laughter. Let their smile fill you. Embrace the fact that you have “time to smell the roses”. Enjoy these small wonders.
8. Put your favorite singer on the stereo and dance around the house singing (close the blinds first) A positive mental attitude will do wonders to overcome hurdles you will face in your new life.
Remember divorce is not the end of THE world – just the end of THAT world. Hold your head high and keep moving forward in your new life being “Happily Divorced”.
